Emotional Wholeness

How To Control Empotions

Emotions have to be controlled if we are going to be emotionally and spiritually healthy. Dysfunctional emotions tend to be like delinquent children; they lie, they cheat, and they demand their own way. But the Word of God is more powerful and if we renew our mind our unruly emotions will become obedient to our new thoughts.

To be healthy we have to be in control of what we think and what we feel.

We will be able to control our emotions if we "walk in the Spirit." The Gospel alone provides the power, through the new birth, to confront our thoughts and feelings.

The New Birth Gives:

  • a sound mind
  • a new identity
  • a new purpose
  • power over every sin
  • power over our human nature
  • power over the Devil
  • spiritual understanding
  • a real Friend
  • real love
  • real relationship
  • real acceptance
  • real forgiveness
  • the hope of glory
  • the promise of heaven

We need to come to grips with what we really need for emotional health. Solomon, who was the richest, wisest and most accomplished person in the entire world said, every human achievement in this world, will not, and cannot, satisfy. He said, "vanity of vanities, all is vanity".

Ecc 1:2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

We are created to love and enjoy the Lord above every other enjoyment, and we will never reach emotional fulfillment apart from our created purpose. If we look to people or to things for fulfillment then we eventually learn, even with the best they can give, we find only emptiness.

No Satisfaction

Proverbs tells us that the person who loves money cannot be satisfied with any amount of money. The eye cannot see enough and the ear cannot hear enough to achieve satisfaction. And, We are told that a backslider is filled with his own ways, but a good man is satisfied "from himself", meaning satisfied from above.

Pro 14:14 The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.

What the above scripture says is that satisfaction comes only from above.

The Gospel is God's answer for every single problem we have for the Gospel translates us from the power of Darkness into the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

Col 1:10-14 (10) That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; (11) Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; (12) Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: (13) Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: (14) In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

The Gospel alone is able to give emotional wholeness for it meets every human need.

Where Jesus Rules He Brings Peace

We must be honest about our emotional condition. If we know we have been given everything for life and for godliness, then why are we so unhappy? We have been given God's best, why is that not enough? You say I have an unhappy marriage, well, you also have an unhappy relationship with the Lord! We have to decide who and what we love the most. If we are going to be emotionally whole, we cannot love our spouse above Christ. We cannot allow a person, a relationship, a failure, or anything, to take our emotional health, our emotional health belongs to Christ. If we allow another to take our peace, take our joy, or so affect our life that we lose our enjoyment of the Lord, then we demonstrate that we have allowed ourselves to become dependent on a person, or thing, or a circumstance, rather than Christ. If we love Christ above all, then we are dependent on Him and emotional health is the result. If we are depedent on Christ then we have the power to maintain balance in our relationships. We are to love others fervently, but only by loving Christ first, can we relate to others in an emotionally healthy way. He is the Lord and we reserve the highest place in our heart for Him alone, no one, and not any thing, can occupy that place we reserve for the Lord. If we are truly unfulfilled, then our chronic lack of fulfillment shows we do not love Christ above all, for when He rules, He satisfies with peace. Our relationship with Jesus Christ is like no other; He is our Creator and He is our Savior. Our dependence on Him honors Him, for our dependence on Him proves we love Him the most.

Mat 22:37-38 (37) Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. (38) This is the first and great commandment.

  • we cannot love success above Christ
  • we cannot love health above Christ
  • we cannot love a healthy marriage above Christ
  • we cannot love personal appearance above Christ
  • we cannot love self-esteem above Christ
  • we cannot love the opinions of others above Christ
  • we cannot love physical pleasure above Christ
  • we cannot love financial stability above Christ
  • we cannot love personal safety above Christ
  • we cannot love personal fulfillment above Christ
  • we cannot love personal ambitions above Christ
  • we cannot love personal dreams above Christ

John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Dysfunctional Thinking Empowers Dysfunctional Emotions

Chronic Anger - a chronic dissatisfaction with life and how it has treated you.

Bitterness - bitterness becomes a cancer in the soul and affects our ability to form wholesome relationships.

Unforgiveness - To be healthy we have to be able to let the past go and not give the people and circumstances of our past control over our present.

Hatred - Hatred is more common than one would think. Also, hatred does not have to have strong emotions to be legitimate hatred. Hatred can be as innocent as simply desiring to avoid the company of a particular person. We cannot be emotionally healthy and hate at the same time. Hatred is corrosive, it is destructive, and produces emotional dysfunction and ultimately physical problems.

Self-Centeredness - A curious thing happens when we are preoccupied with the problems and pressures of our lives. We lose our objectivity, we lose perspective, we lose our peace, and we become very unhappy individuals. Self-centeredness is one of the more important precursors to emotional dysfunction.

Materialism - Beware of the connection between the love of money and emotional dysfunction. The love of money leaves one unable to be truly contented with their life. If one's life is motivated by a love of money or love of things money can buy, then that person's life will be characterized by a shallowness that leads to chronic dissatisfaction and inner turmoil. Listen to the Scripture.

1Tim 6:9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
10For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Patience - to be emotionally healthy we need patience. We need the ability to stay the course without falling apart. The Scripture tells us to look to Jesus for He endured the cross by looking to the joy that awaited Him. This is a good lesson for us, we need to keep our head and keep our faith in the midst of pressures and difficulties. The truth is, there is a better day ahead.

Heb12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Moses Endured Present Pain To Gain Future Joy


Heb 11:24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; 25Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; 26Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward. 27By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.

All Christians Are told To Want Things That Are Above.

COL 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
COL 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Do Not Love The World

1John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Right Pursuits - We are to value the things of God as bringing the highest pleasure, and then passionately run after them. The Scripture specifically tells us to not love this world, but to love the Lord, which will result in the highest pleasure of all: eternal life! We are told to not love this world which means to not place the highest value on the things of this world or the pleasures it can bring. This world promises fulfillment, but that promise is a lie. Real fulfillment comes through emotional dependence on the Person and work of Christ. He is our only source of stability. He has given us His best and the Gospel is to be the only foundation of our emotional and the spiritual life. Our highest pleasure and the priority of our heart, is reserved for God and the promises of His Word. This world, and it's lusts (the things that bring pleasure) are all coming to an end, but the person who finds their highest pleasure in the Person of Jesus Christ and His redemptive victories, will gain emotional and spiritual health! God has given us His best!

Eph 1:2-8 (2) Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. (3) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:, (4)According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: (5)Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, (6) To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. (7)In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; (8) Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;

If Any Man Come After Me...

Jesus said there is a part of us that must be denied; our sinful nature is not willing to find pleasure in the Lord and His ways, this part of us must be put to death. Jesus tells us that by allowing His Word and Spirit to renew us inwardly, we will be able to deny that part of us that seeks the wrong kind of pleasure. If His Word rules within, we will find pleasure and emotional comfort in following Jesus and His Word.

Jesus asks a penetrating question.

What is the value of all possible pleasures, even if you gain them, and then lose your soul? And, can you redeem your soul with the pleasures you gained during your life?

24Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Our goal is to have emotions that proceed from a renewed heart; emotions that find pleasure in the things of God, emotions that will support and not oppose us, as we follow the Lord.

God bless you.

Scripture

Prov 4:4-10
He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. 5) Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. 6) Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. 7) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. 8) Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. 9) She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee. 10) Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many.

Prov 4:20-23
My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. 21) Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. 22) For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. 23) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Prov 5:1-5
My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: 2) That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. 3) For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: 4) But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5) Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.

Prov 6:23-29
For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: 24) To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. 25) Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. 26) For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life. 27) Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? 28) Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? 29) So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

Prov 7:1-5
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. 2) Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. 3) Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart. 4) Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: 5) That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.

Prov 8:10-11
Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold. 11)For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

Prov 4:20-23
My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. 21) Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. 22) For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. 23) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Eccl 12:12-14
And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. 13) Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14) For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

2Pe 1:2-4
Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, 3) According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: 4) Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

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